I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
she smelled like a LAN party
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My legs feel like baby dolphins
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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