In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
