a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
