it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
