you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
