youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
