I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
