i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
