Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Randomize
