you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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