good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
