I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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