It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
