i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
