OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
