he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
