I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
