So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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