hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
