in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
