Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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