did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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