From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize