eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
