Have you finally orgasmed yet?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
