nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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