somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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