Cold hands, warm shart.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
