Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The air was thick with penises
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
