Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
