Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
