is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
