P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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