Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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