the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
