When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
