Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
