If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
