Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish I only lived at night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
