when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
