My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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