i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
