She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Randomize
