i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
