I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
