Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
