I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
