i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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