East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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