Non-Jews are for practice
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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