i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
